Many of us are walking around holding grudges against people from years ago. Just the mere mention of their name(s) can change your entire mood just like that. We see them in the carpool and get an attitude, we see them at the grocery store and turn down another aisle. Some of us won’t even let our kids play with their kids because we don’t want the drama. Living life like this not only diminishes the quality of life that live.
Many people think that forgiving somebody is like a gift to the person who offended you, but the truth of the matter is forgiveness is a gift to yourself. It frees you from the bondage of ill feelings, facial frowns, negative thoughts and plain old meanness. We have been holding on to things for so long that the other person has moved on with their life and they are not giving you a second thought. Just think about that one for a minute… You are wasting your time being mad at somebody who doesn’t even care. What good is that? The space in your mind that is being cluttered with anger, resentment and hostility can be used for something else in your life that really matters.
So how do we go about this forgiveness thing? Some situations are going to be easier than others, but they all end with the same result of you being free. Here are some suggestions to rid yourself of this burden.
- LET IT GO
- Pray that God will remove this burden from your heart
- Write down the hurt feelings, and burn or shred the paper
- Call up the person and “bury the hatchet”
- “Shower them with kindness” and do a good deed or just show them some love
- Hit the “reset button” and just start over from today
I’m a big fan of hitting the “reset button”. Not only does it give me a fresh start, but everything that happened before today just vanishes. It doesn’t mean it didn’t happen, it just means that I choose to let the past remain in the past so I can work on the present on the way to my future. Now, just because forgiveness has occurred doesn’t mean things will necessarily go back to the way they originally were. Sometimes it can be a process, and then other times you will find a new normal. Whatever the case may be, life is too short to be carrying around negativity.
You are soooo right about forgiveness being a gift to ourselves. Letting go of a grudge clears out so much negativity and makes you feel lighter and freer. I look at resentments completely differently since learning the truth about forgiveness.
Ha! Hitting the ‘reset button’ is a way that I get over anything that my sweetie has done or said to annoy me. I am so happy and grateful that I am able to get over things quickly with him. Or else…our relationship would be in real trouble because I used to really hold onto grudges with people. Then again, I don’t really deal with anything hardcore detrimental to our relationship. We usually squabble over debate-type conversations or basic acts of rudeness. And I agree, life is too short to be drained of precious energy being negative or allowing negative… Read more »
Forgiveness can be a very difficult thing to show and teach. However, I do try to teach my kids to start each day anew. Hitting the “reset button” each night. It gives them an opportunity to experience new things each day.
Great advice MadMommy!
Forgiveness can be very hard to deal with. I always try to find a way to forgive someone. I can’t stand to be mad for to long. I think it’s best to just move on and forgive everyone. It makes life a lot easier and less stressful too.
I couldn’t agree more Kathy!
Forgiveness can definitely be very hard sometimes. I’m not one who can hold a grudge for to long. I’ve always forgiven everyone. I couldn’t stand to have so much anger towards someone. It’s easier to just let things go and move on with life.